Is A Child-Free Life For You? Things You Need To Consider
As societal norms and expectations continue to evolve, more and more couples, particularly from Gen Z, are reevaluating traditional life choices, including the decision to have children.
Karin Chan05 Jan 2025 09:00pm
Photo for illustrative purposes only. Photo: Canva
The Independent Center reported that 1 in 3 Gen Zs in the United States do not have and do not want to have any children.
This sentiment is increasingly echoed by Gen Zs worldwide — even in Malaysia — due to struggles with the cost of living, work pressures, societal and familial expectations and climate change.
After all, it’s hard to imagine being responsible for another life when just managing your own feels like an uphill battle.
There’s no one way to live a life, and deciding to live child-free is certainly a valid choice.
However, the fact remains that it’s a major life decision which can affect not just your life, but your partner and family as well.
So before you make that call, here are some aspects of child-free living that you should consider to see whether or not child-free living really is for you. (Note: child-free and childless are different in that the former is voluntary.)
Financial security
Gen Zs worry about money — a lot. Over 65 per cent of Malaysian Gen Z respondents to Deloitte’s 2023 Gen Z and Millennial Survey noted that they live paycheck to paycheck and worry constantly about their finances.
Having a child is a significant financial commitment, so it’s understandable why many Gen Zs may hesitate.
How expensive is it to have a child, exactly?
According to the EPF’s Belanjawanku 2022/2023 spending guide, even if you have just one child as a married couple in the Klang Valley, your minimum monthly budget would be roughly RM5,980 (RM6,890 if you have two), compared to RM4,630 if you have no children.
That’s an increase of around 23 per cent — and this is just the minimum recommendation.
If you are a child-free person, you will almost certainly have more disposable income.
However, that’s not an excuse to ignore good financial planning, especially when it comes to the later years.
Be sure to have the hard conversations early and know what you need to do to secure your financial independence for your lifetime.
Social circles
For most people, parenthood is an all-encompassing new stage of life. Their time and energy will understandably revolve around their child(ren) for a few years while they navigate their new responsibilities — at least until the children are more independent.
You might find that friends and family who used to enjoy bar-hopping and flying off on spontaneous trips with you now can barely find the time to grab a coffee.
On the rare chances you do see them, you may be lucky to get two sentences out of them before they need to give their children their full attention.
This divergence in life paths may be difficult for a child-free person to come to terms with, but it doesn’t have to lead to resentment or loneliness.
You can join more social activities and get involved in communities or hobby groups to make more friends who are at a similar life stage as you.
As for your loved ones who are now parents, they’ll have more time when the children grow older — just be patient and hold space for them.
Emotional fulfilment
New parents will often tell non-parents that having a child changes who you are as a person.
Many may say that they feel a greater sense of purpose and a stronger desire to be a better person when they’re seeing the world through a child’s eyes.
There’s no doubt that raising a child can be very fulfilling. You can learn a lot about yourself and what you care about through all the trials and tribulations of parenting.
Plus, it’s not uncommon for parents to say that raising their children to be decent adults is the biggest achievement of their lives.
Fair enough — being a good parent is hard!
However, having children doesn’t have to be everyone’s primary purpose in life.
Plenty of child-free couples find meaningful things to do that they might not otherwise be able to pursue with children, such as travelling, learning new skills, creating art and getting involved in the community.
The possibilities are endless.
Know what you want
If you’ve read this far and still aren’t sure whether living a child-free life is for you, that’s okay!
Some people know from the start that they want or don’t want children, but for the majority, it’s not always so cut and dry.
It’s a big decision to make and may require a lot of soul-searching, as well as discussions — especially with your partner, if you have one.
There isn’t an objectively right or wrong answer, only what’s right for you as a person.
Read up on your options and talk to people from both the parenting and child-free camps, but also be aware that everyone’s experience and situations are different.
As long as you’ve done your research and made thorough plans, then it will be much easier to answer the question of whether or not to have children — and what your life may look like as a result of that choice.
