Why don’t they look autistic? - A mother's response to societal ignorance
Dalila Diyana on life with three autistic children
SHAH ALAM - "They look normal; what is wrong with them?" This is a phrase often directed at a couple who have three children with autism.
Dalila Diyana Sazali, 36, the mother of these children, said many people question her children’s condition because they appear like any other children.
"Some say I am lying about my children being autistic because, externally, they look normal.
"You only need to wait 15 minutes; you wouldn’t have to wait long before these children show their tantrums.
"If we are at a restaurant, my husband and I have to eat as quickly as possible before they finish.
"A messy table is normal if you have autistic children. Our house and car are never clean or tidy for long, maybe just for about 10 minutes," she said.
Dalila shared the challenges of raising autistic children through the TikTok application, receiving over 30,000 likes.
According to Dalila, all three of her children are non-verbal and struggle to express their feelings.
She said that she and her husband need a lot of patience, especially when their children are out of control.
"This is very challenging for us. If they are in pain or have a fever, they cannot tell us what they are feeling.
"Sometimes it feels hopeless and affects our emotions because it is not easy.
"Some members of society mock and cannot accept our autistic children.
"As a mother, I am very sad when they give negative impressions," she added.
When asked about her acceptance of having children with autism, Dalila said that initially, it was very hard to accept the reality.
She locked herself in her room and did not take her children out of the house.
She said that the presence of special children in their family was questioned, especially since they had never encountered autistic children among their close ones.
"The first time the doctor confirmed that our eldest had mild autism, I could not accept the reality because everyone around me, like friends and family, had smart children.
"I started to wonder what I had done wrong to deserve such a heavy test from Allah.
"Since then, I began to isolate myself from society.
"After work, I would go straight to my room. I did not even take my children out because I was ashamed.
"This situation lasted for quite a long time, over a year, until my husband and parents made me realise," she said.
She also advised parents who have special children not to feel inferior and to accept Allah's will.
"Do not hide your children and feel ashamed; take them out. Autistic children are very special; they have their own strengths, but we have to discover them," she said.
