Obey your husbands but within limits, Penang Mufti on domestic violence

SHAH ALAM – When a Muslim woman is stuck in an abusive marriage, one question often comes to mind – should they still obey their husband as the religion requires, or should they seek help to end it?

Recently, it was reported that Selangor Executive Councillor for Women Empowerment and Social Welfare Anfaal Shaari said domestic violence was still a taboo subject among society and women face dilemmas because some remained obedient to their husbands even when subjected to mistreatment and oppression.

Penang Mufti Datuk Seri Dr Wan Salim Wan Mohd Noor when asked to comment on the matter said in Islam, a wife should obey her husband in any situation except when the condition was deemed harmful.

"If a wife can no longer continue living with her husband who oppressed her, then she is required to demand the dissolution of the marriage by way of khulu' or redemption of talaq in the Syariah court.

"However, the wife should (first) be patient with her husband's mistreatment towards her and pray that God will give her husband repentance and show him the right path.

"In a hadith, Prophet Muhammad SAW noted that a woman who is patient with her husband's tyranny is promised a great reward by Allah SWT as given to Asiah, the wife of the Pharaoh.

"There is also a hadith that states that the reward of such a wife is equal to the reward of jihad in the path of God," he told Sinar Daily.

On the husband's side, Wan Salim said the man needs to know that abusing his wife was a sin and he must repent to Allah SWT apart from asking for forgiveness from his wife.

This repentance, he said, must be proven by not repeating the wrongful act towards the wife and followed by good treatment towards her.

Wan Salim said that in Islam, a wife was required to obey her husband in all matters except when told to commit immorality and harmful acts to herself or others.

"There is a hadith that prohibits a mukmin (sincere believer) from obeying anyone in matters of sin and immorality. For instance, a wife is not required to comply if asked to commit acts prohibited by the Syariah, such as revealing private parts, drinking alcohol, committing adultery and so on," he said.

Wan Salim also pointed out that domestic violence should not happen as Islam wanted the relationship between a husband and wife to be built on warmth and love; Allah SWT also created spouses among ourselves so that we may find comfort in them (Surah Ar-Rum, 30: 21).

"The husband needs to know that his wife is a responsibility (amanah) that must be treated and taken care of with full responsibility and dedication.

"This is according to the command of Allah SWT in Surah an-Nisa': 19 (It is not permissible for you to inherit women against their will or mistreat them to make them return some of the dowry as a ransom for divorce˺—unless they are found guilty of adultery. Treat them fairly. If you happen to dislike them, you may hate something which Allah turns into a great blessing.)

"In a prophetic narration by Abu Hurairah, Rasulullah SAW said: 'Take my message to all of you to be kind to women, for they were created from the rib of a man (Prophet Adam).' What this means is that husbands should be wise in educating their wives, that is, with guidance and gentle and polite words of advice," he said.

Wan Salim also advised both husbands and wives to always cooperate and help each other in doing good deeds, obeying Allah SWT and leaving all sins and evils.

"Know that obedience to Allah is the source of success and happiness in married life. In fact, it also leads to God's paradise in the afterlife," he said.

It was reported that Selangor recorded the highest number of domestic violence cases in the country over the past three years.

From January to August this year, 813 domestic violence cases were reported in Selangor.