Former journalist shares experience as mental health patient
04 Apr 2023 09:13am
Former journalist Maliah Surip - Awani
Maliah Surip, 42, said the book, 'Senandika: Bercakap Seorang Diri', written over a period of three months, is about her life after being diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD), Panic Attacks and Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), as well as Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) in 2019.
She said she became depressed following a bad dream she had while performing the umrah pilgrimage about 10 years ago, without realising that she was actually traumatised by the incident.
"The dream traumatised me, but by keeping that feeling to myself and not sharing it with others, it haunts me and from then on made me more depressed until it went out of control,” she told Bernama after the launch of the book by popular entertainers Datuk Amy Search and Misha Omar at DXN Cyberville, here, recently.
The mother of three children, aged between seven and 13, said she realised the problem only after she took a Depression, Anxiety and Stress Scale (DASS) self-test through a programme organised at her office.
"All the while, I thought that my behaviour of preferring to be alone in the room, feeling inferior, afraid and not wanting to meet other people was normal, that it was because I was lazy. It never came to my mind that it was actually a mental health problem," she added.
Despite realising her unstable condition, Maliah said she refused to undergo treatment until she had to quit her job as her condition was becoming more serious then.
"I was still in denial, even when I had all the symptoms, including fast heartbeat and not being able to sleep well, as well as wanting to just disappear and end my life.
"At that time, my husband, Abdul Razak Latif and the children realised that there was something wrong with me. I neglected them, and couldn’t get up in the morning. All I did was just lie in bed, didn’t eat, and didn’t sleep.
"The period during the Movement Control Order was the happiest moment because there was no need for me to communicate face-to-face, and I spent most of the time in the room,” she said, adding that she was grateful that during those difficult times, her husband and children were always with her.
" Alhamdulillah, my husband is very supportive. When I was sick, he took over all the housework. I am lucky because there is a very strong support system, including from my parents," she said.
Maliah, who is from Johor Bahru, hoped that the book could help to enhance public awareness of mental health, as well as raise the spirits of patients with mental health disorders to continue fighting for a better life.
She said the book was her contribution to society as it is not easy to get a book on mental health that is authored by a mental health disorder patient.
"I can hardly find a book that is self-written by mental health patients, except on their experiences quoted in books authoured by professionals,” she added.
Meanwhile, Misha, whose real name is Samihah @ Aisah Omar, said the publication of the book was timely.
"They are many people facing the problem, but are shy to admit it. The time has come for them to get rid of the fear of being criticised just because of this mental illness, which some described as insane.
"Just like cancer or diabetes, it (mental illness) needs treatment, more so because it is an illness that cannot be seen,” she added. -BERNAMA
