Sinar Daily pushes a space for people in abusive environments
KUALA LUMPUR - Sinar Daily wants to push a space that is conducive for men, women and children who want to get out of abusive relationships and marriage.
Its Editor Tasnim Lokman hopes to establish a movement not only to spread awareness but destigmatise problems in relation to marriage and divorce as well as educate people about the types of abuses.
Aside from physical and mental abuse that was more well-known in today’s society, she said people were aware of neglect, verbal and financial abuse.
“We wish to join hands with everyone present such as Petaling Jaya MP Maria Chin and Muda’s Ainie Haziqah and all the pertinent NGOs at the talk today as well as those watching online to make a pledge and be the support or person that we wish we had during difficult times,” she said.
This was announced during its live show ‘Relatable: Young and Divorced’ which went live at Dome Bangsar Shopping Centre, Kuala Lumpur, this morning.
The live show was joined by professional educator Datuk Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj, Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO) Services Director Charlene Murray and entrepreneur Chiq Ruslan as panellists who discussed the challenges, impact and stigma surrounding the issue of divorces among the young couples and women.
Charlene had said that the WAO’s hotline calls had increased three-fold on a monthly basis since the pandemic began.
She said the increase in number showed the apparent need for better mental health from not only those who suffered from severe domestic abuse but also those suffering from social, financial and emotional abuse by their spouses.
In addition, she said the increase in divorce rates in the country could stem from the tension in relationships that had increased during the pandemic, resulting in individuals realising that their marriages were no longer viable.
The Movement Control Order (MCO) implemented in 2020 might have contributed to the factor as couples were stuck in their homes together which only worsened the situation, accelerating the tension to domestic abuse, especially in relationships that had elements of abuse prior to that.
She also emphasised that married partners being removed from their support system is the warning sign of emotional and social abuse in relationships.
“Having a healthy relationship means having people you can depend on separately.
“Commonly in unhealthy relationships, the ones with higher power usually remove their spouses from family and their support system because they want their spouse to only rely on them, which is one of the warning signs of how the relationship has moved into emotional and social abuse,” she said.
A study by Psychology Today suggested that couples who married before the age of 28 were more likely to divorce than those who tied the knot a bit late in life.
Another study in 2013 that interviewed 52 divorced couples found a strong correlation between young marriage and early divorce.
Malaysia Statistics Department also recorded a decrease in divorce cases from 56,624 in 2019 to 45,754 in 2020.
However, the median age remains at 37 years old for males and 34 years old for females, with the highest number of divorce cases in the age group being between 30 to 34 years old for both men and women.
Women empowerment, family development and parenting educator Datuk Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj said many factors led to the increase in divorce rates among the young couples in the country.
She mentioned that young couples these days decide to separate from their spouses because their expectations were not met after they got married.
“There are lots of factors that could lead to divorce, but we can say the young couples not having their expectations met as one of the factors.
“Especially with the influence of social media now, people have high standards about marriage which they realise are different from what they expect only after they get married.
“Young people also do not know about the five phases of marriage - romantic, power struggle, stability, commitment and bliss,” she said.
She further explained the power struggle as the most important part of marriage where it could lead to three outcomes including power tension where it is always the ‘me vs you’ mindset and win-lose dynamic; power sharing where there are always give and take as well as win-win dynamic and power imbalance where one partner is always in control of everything.
She added it was important for young couples to be aware of the power struggle as one of the phases of marriage in order to maintain their relationship.
