When motherhood greets you earlier than expected
It’s 10.30pm in Kuala Lumpur and I am on a video call with Nadia Halim Dziobkowska who is all the way in Poland, chatting about motherhood.
You may have come across this bubbly personality across social media. Her on-point expressions when it comes to her reenactment videos garners thousands of views.
Beyond her reenactment videos, Nadia, 28, would often use her platform to spread positivity, and other times she would share photos of her daughter, Amanda, to her 83,000 followers.
Intrigued to know more about her journey into motherhood, I dropped a DM (direct message) via her Instagram and here we are talking about her experience as a parent.
For Nadia, she embraced motherhood during her adolescent years.
“I’m a young mom, I gave to birth to my daughter when I was 17, and soon she will turn 11.
“It was hard because I was at the age where my peers were just starting to experience new things in life. It was especially tough when you had to it (raise a baby) without a husband.
“We were married for two years but he was never physically, financially or emotionally there, so that was quite a journey for me.
“But thankfully, I had my parents to support me in raising Amanda so I didn’t feel the burden as much as I probably should. I was able to continue my studies and be a mom at the same time. I never stopped studying,” said Nadia who has a degree in early childhood education.
Being a teenage mother is a status that often gets denigrated by the wider community, so it left me wondering if Nadia had in fact experience any discrimination or judgement.
“To be honest, no because I don’t allow anyone to do that to me. I’ve never cared what people had to say. Perhaps things have been said behind my back – who knows – but I never bothered.
“It was tough for my mom, understandably, but for me I was always confident in telling people I’m a young mother, and that I have an amazing daughter,” she said.
No doubt, she felt scared and overwhelmed with emotions when she learned she was expecting, but going through that experience had made her the strong person she is today.
“I thought I screwed up my whole life. But I was wrong. I am actually better as a person from my experience of becoming a young mom,” she said.
KEEPING IT REAL
While Nadia’s positive and bubbly character is infectious, there’s a side to her that can be measured as a realist, particularly when it comes to parenting.
“As much as I want to give my daughter everything she could ever want, it’s best that we teach them the reality of life – that not everything comes easy, you’re going to have to work for it.
“If you don’t teach them the reality of life, they won’t be able to emotionally and mentally cope when the hurdles of life hits them.
“You can’t keep your children in a bubble, let them experience things themselves. Don’t do everything for them because they are more capable than you think,” said Nadia who is also an educator by profession.
PARENTING FROM AFAR
Those who follow Nadia on Instagram would know that she had recently moved to Poland to marry the love of her life.
Nadia shares that Amanda would soon follow suit in the next few months, joining her and husband in residing there for some time before they return to Malaysia for good.
Before Amanda flies to Poland, she is under the care of her grandparents.
For Nadia, parenting from miles away certainly presents a whirlwind of challenges.
“Parenting from afar is tough, particularly because you’re not physically there with them. Yes, we communicate frequently thanks to technology but there’s only so much I can do from here.
“You can tell them what to read a book for example, but whether or not she would actually do it – that’s a different story because you’re not physically there to monitor.
“The most I can do is to touch base with my mom to help make things more structured while I’m not there with her,” she said.
EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Having gone through the journey of motherhood for more than a decade, Nadia has learned that there is no one “one size fits all” rule when it comes to parenting.
Everyone parents differently and that’s perfectly okay.
“A lot of moms doubt themselves. As a parent we try to do everything right and sometimes it doesn’t work.
“Be confident that what you are doing is the best for you and your child. Build a strong foundation for your child. But also, expect the unexpected," she said.
