Happy mother's day, bereaved moms!

Happy mothers day to all, including moms of unseen children!

Yes, you read that right. If you have never heard of the term mothers with unseen children, we are in the same boat.

That is until I became one last year. I lost my firstborn just about six hours after her birth due to extreme prematurity at seven months.

Since she was my first, I obviously have no living child, so I was confused about my status when she was gone.

Am I a mother? Am I not? Because there was no 'tangible' child that I could see, hold or raise.

Even when filling up forms, we bereaved mothers were perplexed on how to fill up the form when it involved the number of children because if we put "none", it seemed like we denied our late children's existence. More explanations might need to be done if we put the number of children we have, or in this case, had.

The tragedy led me to join bereaved mothers' groups and that was when I realised that I was not the only one who felt that way and that was the first time I heard the term mothers with unseen children, and oh how I felt like I had found my place in the groups.

Many had the same experience as me, some experienced having stillborn babies while some had miscarriages.

While such cases were uncommon and many have gone through such tragedy, you would be surprised how society often forgets that bereaved mothers without living children were mothers too, as no children were around to be seen.

As mother's day approached, many bereaved moms especially those who lost their firstborn or with no living children wondered if they deserved to celebrate it.

Friends, families and even spouses would also be warier whether to celebrate these mothers or not, as it might upset them.

Based on conversations I had with others, they convinced me that I was a mother the moment I carried the child in my womb and that was what I am going to believe in.

Hence, I will be celebrating this year's Mother's day, despite the fact that I am a mother with an unseen child.

After all, this body of mine had carried my daughter, went through labour and had a seven-inch scar that reminded me of the painful and traumatic childbirth every single day.

If someone in your social circle went through the same situation, know that a mother's love for their children never dies even when the child passed and the same goes for their motherhood.

Take the time to honour and acknowledge all mothers, those with living children and the ones with unseen children because after all, every mother is strong, nurturing and caring enough to wake up each day and face the world.

So when you wish your friends and families "Happy Mother's Day" on this special day, please don't forget to wish the ones with unseen children.