Choosing the right spouse is one of the most critical decisions, particularly for couples who are considering starting a family.
The importance of aligning views on having children cannot be understated, as differences in this area can lead to significant strains in a marriage. When partners share the same aspirations about parenthood, the path to building a family becomes smoother and more fulfilling.
Actress and singer Bella Astillah emphasised this during a recent discussion, highlighting that agreeing on such foundational matters is key to a harmonious relationship.
"Before planning to have a child, the choice of a spouse is crucial. If you end up with someone who doesn't share the same desire for children, it can create complications down the line.
"We need to find a partner who shares the same perspective,” Bella said during the panel discussion at the Borak Bibir Merah programme held at Karangkraf recently.
The talk show called 'Borak Bibir Merah Eksklusif bersama Rozita Che Wan' presented by Sinar Plus explored topics such as early marriage and the child-free lifestyle.
Hosted by Rozita, the show featured popular panelists including actress and singer Bella Astillah, and Nabila Razali, as well as religious insight from Islamic preacher Da’i Izzhar Nazri.
Bella’s point highlighted the importance of communication and shared values when it comes to marriage, especially in the context of raising a family.
She said that without a mutual understanding, building a life together can become more challenging, particularly when one partner may not be ready or willing to embrace parenthood.
When asked about the recent 'childfree' trend, Bella expressed surprise at its growing popularity.
While acknowledging that everyone has their own views, she doesn't agree with the concept.
For Bella, children are a blessing that has brought immense happiness and reduced stress in her life, describing them as a precious gift she cherishes.
"After marriage and having a child, you can truly enjoy life with your family, especially if you're family-oriented.
"It's strange when people view kids as a burden, since responsibilities are just a natural part of life,” she said.
Bella believes that responsibility becomes enjoyable when driven by love, and she disagrees with the child-free concept.
She shared that she has friends who have been trying to have children for years, adding that content on promoting child-free lifestyles can negatively influence young people.
For her, her children bring joy and help her unwind after a long day. Despite the challenges of motherhood, they are a precious gift that fills her life with happiness.
Bella also stressed the importance of family and expressed gratitude for still having her mother. Despite personal losses having gone through a very public divorce, she finds strength in her family and the supportive presence of her children.
"When I look at my parents' 35-year relationship, what woman wouldn't dream of a happy marriage? However we can't fight fate, perhaps this is the path we have to accept, whether good or bad,” she added.
To move forward, Bella shared that she stays busy and finds strength in her children.