SHAH ALAM - A psychologist is urging parents to put down the phone and get real when it comes to raising their children.
Malaysian Psycho Spiritual Well-being Association Deputy Chairman psychologist and suicidologist Dr Adnan Omar said relying on social media for parenting advice might seem beneficial, however, it also could not be very practical or helpful.
He added that while seeking more information was a commendable habit, it was crucial to verify the quality, validity and usefulness of that information.
"Social media has changed everything in our lives, including our parenting styles and practices. Social media also offers more and quicker options for almost anything including parenting tips and guidance.
"Not only parents can access more parenting theories, techniques and practices, but they are also easier and quicker to consume.
"Generally social media capitalises on more and quicker information,” he said when contacted recently,” he said.
However, Dr Adnan advised that more and quicker information is not always better.
He elaborated that parenting is a specialised subject requiring professional knowledge, skills, and guidance.
Adnan emphasised that effective parenting demands hard work, a deep and proper understanding, practical skills, dedication, support and reflection.
He added it was a task that requires action, not just theoretical knowledge.
He also highlighted that while social media might offer reasonable theoretical parenting knowledge and skills, it often lacks the practical application of parenting.
Furthermore, he pointed out that the lack of control over social media content means the quality of available materials could be questionable.
"Are all parenting styles and practices the same? Are they based on science and research? How about their usefulness and practicalities? Who decides on this issue?
"Some parents may encounter and use pseudoscience in parenting that they get from social media. This kind of information may lead to more harm than benefit.
"The challenge with social media is that it offers an overload of information without much guidance about the quality and truthfulness of such information,” he added.
Adnan said that parenting is an intimate and significant relationship between parents and children, involving a range of critical issues such as patience, mental health, communication, empathy, daily routines, time management, and teamwork.
He emphasised that effective parenting requires professional, in-depth knowledge and practical skills.
It's not just about knowing what to do, however, he highlighted it was about applying those skills, which often involves more than just relying on social media.
He added that successful parenting demands face-to-face interactions, repeated practice of routines, hard work, self-reflection, making corrections, and support from others.
Adnan also stressed the importance of obtaining parenting information from recognised sources to avoid harmful or useless content. He advised staying away from pseudoscience, gimmicks, and personal testimonies.
"Strategies that can be recommend for Gen Z parents to ensure they are getting accurate and helpful parenting advice online. First, use common sense. Parenting is doing, not so much about knowing,” he added.
By actively engaging in parenting with their children, Dr Adnan said people could learn what works and what is problematic.
This hands-on approach involves interactions with both children and other parents, typically requiring face-to-face interactions.
Adnan highlighted that parenting is hard work, involving many aspects of intimate and significant interactions between parents and children. He stressed that it is not simply a mental or cognitive ability.
"Yes, learn from the social media. Then, put it away by engaging and doing parenting with children.
"Next, avoid pseudoscience in parenting. Develop a critical mind. Carefully select parenting knowledge and skills from trustworthy and professional sources,” he said.
Adnan also urged parents to seek social support by connecting with other successful parents, highlighting that social media has its limitations.
He emphasised that experience is the ultimate source of practical guidance.
He said that no amount of information on social media could compete with or be more useful than actual parenting experience.