"What attitude must one demonstrate to level up?” you asked. That depends on your goals: To be positive... To be kind... To want to learn... To be proactive... To be resilient... To have a sense of perspective... To be patient... To be committed to continuous improvement.
Have you noticed your inner voice? How much do you influence your attitude by what you say to yourself? Focus on these two major aspects: Attitude and Behaviour.
Let us first focus on attitude: This refers to a person’s mental view or mindset regarding the way one thinks or feels about someone or something. Simply put, the way one perceives things.
Education, experience, and environment are the major factors that affect a person’s attitude. If you are the type who likes to observe others (learn the difference between observing versus judging), and learn from their experiences too (instead of criticising) which you can do easily on social media platform nowadays, say hoorah, you are levelling up too!
Your attitude will always magnify your behaviour afterwards. Attitudes may be positive, negative, or neutral. In other words, if we have a negative attitude, any bad thing that happens will seem that much worse and leads us spiralling towards making much worse life decisions.
A positive attitude makes it easier to get back up and give it another shot. A more neutral attitude can be both good or bad depending on situations as it leads one towards the feeling of indifference.
Let us move next to behaviour: This implies the actions, moves, or conduct of an individual or group towards others. Put simply, it is the way in which one responds to a situation. The outward expression of attitude.
What do you do in a particular situation? This is not only determined when an individual has positive attitudes towards something but also having positive beliefs over available information and the "behavioural response” is to finally "act on it.” Behaviour is learned and therefore can be unlearned. It is influenced by the type of reinforcements or other consequences received after the behaviour occurs. Altering the setting or environment may largely improve one’s behaviour.
All behaviour has a function. Often the function is to either obtain something (such as attention, activities, goods or control) or avoid something (such as specific activities or social situations).
Mostly defined or influenced by social norms, this is where you need to take extra care. Low tolerance for frustration may contribute to problematic behaviour. One usually displays inappropriate behaviour to avoid doing a task or responsibility and is more concerned about their current feelings (instant gratification) than about the consequences of their behaviour.
As an example, some people require very little attention from others while others require a great deal. Learners who are unable to obtain attention in appropriate ways resort to negative behaviours such as calling out, disrupting or hitting other students. Learners may become aggressive in order to obtain desired goods from other students and intentionally display oppositional behaviour to gain control over their environment. When faced with defeat, this is when they join in "bigger groups” and would do anything in order to gain that sense of belonging and not feel left out.
Is it worth it? Some learners have difficulty recognizing the events that trigger their problematic behaviour and therefore have a limited ability to prevent their behaviour from escalating. Others may be able to recognize the escalation cycle but still choose to engage in inappropriate behaviour.
Let us rewind to the first C I talked about last week: Calm.
In conclusion, the best time to teach new or replacement behaviour is when a person is in the calm phase of the cycle. One can practise this behaviour through role-playing and then use it in actual situations.
A way to teach this using non-verbal strategies to defuse confrontations is to be aware that when people get into arguments, they often unconsciously mirror the emotional posturing of the other and wanting to be at the "winning side” of the "battle.”
For example, pointing when the other person points, standing when the other person stands. To lower the tension when the "opponent” is visibly agitated, sit down next to that person (a less threatening posture), talk at a slower pace with a lower tone rather than standing over that person from a higher position.
Enjoy unlocking the key to effective communication.
SYAZUIN SAZALI is a Subject Matter Expert in soft skills. She aims to continuously advocate for progressive growth in education. Linkedin & Instagram: @syazuinsazali, Email: syazuinsazali@gmail.com
The views expressed in this article are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect those of Sinar Daily.