SHAH ALAM - After 14 days of enduring the figurative and hectic political poo-throwing, it is perhaps undeniably ironic that Malaysia’s national polls is due tomorrow.
Why?
Because while Malaysian will be welcoming the 15th General Election (GE15) when the clock strikes 12 tonight, others across the globe will be celebrating World Toilet Day.
LOL. How apt.
Then again, the fortnight election drama was -- frankly -- a mere tip of the iceberg of the shenanigans that our politicians have made us gone through since 2018.
Albeit it may be tempting to do so, for the sake of brevity, there will no laundry list of the political theatrics included in this piece.
Because seriously, it is unlikely that anyone would want a verbatim refresher on the nitty-gritty and hardly amusing acrobatics that happened over the past five years.
But since this is supposed to be a curtain-raiser for tomorrow’s D-Day, some backgrounders are needed for contextual purposes.
So basically, after Barisan Nasional (BN) suffered its maiden defeat in 2018, to Pakatan Harapan (PH), Malaysians have not had a single dull moment.
We saw the rise of three prime ministers; Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin and Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaakob; and also the fall of the former two.
On a side note, the country also saw the jailing of former prime minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak over the 1MDB scandal.
A bunch of political treacheries, switcheroo and leap-frogging had happened in-between so much so that even the politicians themselves decided that enough was enough and decided to pass the anti-party hopping bill on July 28, 2022.
Why it took them five years coupled with the fall of two governments which imploded against the backdrop of a viral pandemic that crippled the world is anybody’s guess.
But the fact that it took them this long -- mind you that Malaya had its first election in 1955 -- attested the thickness of our politicians’ skins.
Anyway, enough about the distant past and more on the drama that transpired since campaigning period started.
For starters, the election heat is barely palpable this time around; a stark contrast with the previous government-toppling excitement of GE14.
Expectedly, PH is dangling hope; centring its sales pitch on the credibility of Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim by touting his 90s accolades of being named as Best Finance Minister.
Will today’s youth be impressed with achievements accomplished decades ago -- one that happened even before they were born? Who knows.
And while BN seemed to have a good start, the coalition eventually shot itself in the foot with the feud between Khairy Jamaluddin and Umno president Datuk Seri Ahmad Zahid Hamidi.
Classic BN.
It is unclear who exactly started the friendly fire but it revolved around Khairy’s ambition to be PM and his initial reaction in being fielded in the risky seat of Sungai Buloh instead of his incumbent safe seat, Rembau.
Khairy remarked that he had no choice to but to contest in Sungai Buloh but Zahid retorted otherwise, stating that it was Khairy who requested to contest there.
The hoo-ha then started to escalate when Khairy claimed that he is a reformist aiming to cleanse Umno admitting that he has a disdain towards some party leader.
And then somehow -- in a weird turn of events -- even BN’s PM candidate Datuk Seri Ismail Sabri Yaakob joined in the fray.
"I am still BN's poster boy, it was decided by Umno supreme council," Ismail Sabri remarked amidst talk of a signed declaration by Umno leaders endorsing Zahid as PM. "Any decisions announced, as long as they have not been reversed, will have to be followed."
Similar to the irony of GE15 coinciding with World Toilet Day, the internal bickering in BN was equally ironic as the coalition promised stability and this spat suggested otherwise.
On the Perikatan Nasional (PN) side, its PM candidate, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin had inadvertently landed himself in hot water after allegedly making light on the number of Covid-19 death tolls during his administration.
Naturally, Muhyiddin claimed that his speech was taken out of context by his detractors who were out to defame him.
Gosh.
Nevertheless, happy voting fellow Malaysians and remember don’t forget to flush.