SHAH ALAM - The concept of nusyuz (disobedient) should be reconstructed as it could not only happen to the wife but also can be applied to the husband.
Malaysian Syariah Judiciary Department (JKSM) director-general Datuk Mohd Na’im Mokhtar said the stereotype in the society that nusyuz was only applicable to women should be fixed.
He said it was important for the community to know that Islam is fair and Allah did not specify any gender in wrongdoings.
"As mentioned in Surah An-Nisa 128, if a woman worries about nusyuz to be surfaced, it’s important for them to make peace between the two of them.
"This is because in the surah, it stated that peace is much better than divorce,” he said.
Mohd Na'im added that to prevent nusyuz in marriage, a couple should not only learn (syariah) at mosques, but they also needed to learn the law.
He said many husbands wanted to be in a polygamous marriage and said they could be fair to their wives, but in the context of law in Malaysia, they needed to have approval from the judge.
"Even before the court decides to approve it or not, they will ask the wife to see if the husband is able to provide for both (wives) and be fair.
"There were also cases when the wife refused (to allow polygamy), she will be labelled as nusyuz. But, who has the right to decide if the wife was being nusyuz or not?” he said.
In the context of law, he said people could not simply label someone as nusyuz as only the court could decide and identify whether there was nusyuz committed.
Sebarkan Bahagia Resources director Fatimah Syarha Mohd Nordin said the word nusyuz carried the meaning of lifting, which was when a party elevated himself or herself in a household and refused to conduct their responsibilities.
"God always reminds us about the brilliance of prevention before cure and if nusyuz really happened in real life, the implications are very bad.
"The wife refused to do her responsibility as a wife, didn't want to stay with husband, and had interest in another man (is considered nusyuz).
"Same goes to the husband, they will torture and insult the wife, downgrade her and not give alimony, being unfair in polygamy and also had interest with another woman,” she said.
She said it is stated in the Quran that men's responsibility was to protect and a married couple should always advise each other in a softer manner to prevent nusyuz.
She said even the Prophet Muhammad himself taught the ummah to be soft in teaching and loving in words and touch.
Fatimah added that hitting a spouse was never the quick option in the psychological perspective, in fact it should be the last option.
She said this during the Celik al-Quran 4:34 programme organised by Yayasan Warisan Ummah Ikhlas entitled "Siapa Yang Nusyuz: Isteri @ Suami?" at the Karangkraf Complex, here, on Sunday.
Also present during the programme was Dr Har Academy founder Professor Datuk Dr Harlina Halizah Siraj as the moderator.
She said the topic was chosen as an effort to educate and create awareness to the community about the fairness concept in Islam which was previously more focused on women.
"The problem with nusyuz was not only related to women but also men. When we see the unbalance and unfairness of the concept, we need to answer the perception with the Quran.
"In surah An-Nisa ayat 34, there were three issues; first is that Islam allows a husband to hit his wife. Secondly, the qawama concept and thirdly, nusyuz,” she said.
Harlina further explained that some men only picked up on the small part of hitting, not the entire meaning of hit and qawama which meant that men were supposed to be the protectors of women, not to control them.